NBVM Novena Day 3: Peace in the Family
On the third day of our Novena in preparation for the Feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we reflected on Peace in the Family, something we all desire, but perhaps sometimes misunderstand.
Peace does not mean a family without disagreements or hurt. Every family has moments when words are spoken in anger, misunderstandings grow, or old wounds remain unresolved. Sometimes the people we love most are also the people we hurt most. Fr Bernard reminded us in his homily that sometimes those who hurt others may themselves be carrying wounds within that no one else can see.
Jesus shows us a way through this. When someone has wronged us, He asks us first to go to that person. Not to shame them, prove that we are right, or gather others to our side, but to try to restore what has been broken. The goal, as Father reminded us, is not to win the argument, but “to win back your brother or sister.”
That sounds simple until we have to do it.
It is often easier to talk about someone than to talk to them. Easier to tell friends or family what happened, or to put our frustration on social media. But reconciliation asks more of us. It asks us to face someone who has hurt us and still see a person whose dignity matters. It asks us to speak the truth without using that truth as a weapon.
And before we do that, we need to look at ourselves first. Am I approaching this person with humility and love, or am I simply determined to be right? Can I recognise my own weaknesses before pointing out theirs? And if someone tells me that I have caused hurt, am I humble enough to listen?
Perhaps this is where peace in the family really begins. Not when everyone finally agrees with us, but when someone chooses to listen instead of retaliate; when pride gives way to an apology; when we stop keeping score; when preserving the relationship matters more than having the last word.
As we continue our Novena, perhaps we can sit with some harder questions. Is there someone in my family I have been speaking about, when I should be speaking to them? Is there a hurt I have held onto for so long that it has begun to change the way I treat the people around me? And perhaps the hardest question of all: could I have become a source of hurt to someone I love without even realising it?
We often pray, “Lord, bring peace to my family.” But perhaps tonight our prayer needs to go a little further: “Lord, show me where I need to change. Show me whom I need to forgive, whom I need to ask forgiveness from, and give me the humility to take the first step.”
Because sometimes we wait for the other person to change before there can be peace. We wait for them to apologise, to understand, to come back, to make the first move.
Perhaps God is asking us: Why not you? (BV)
