Let’s Talk… About Not Talking

If one of your resolutions for 2025 is to stop gossiping, here’s something to reflect on: gossip isn’t really about them—it’s about me.

Think about it. Have you ever been at breakfast after Mass or chatting in a parish group when someone’s name comes up, and before you know it, the conversation shifts to what they’ve done wrong or how they’ve fallen short? It feels so natural in the moment, doesn’t it? But why? A person who is confident, secure, and comfortable in their own skin doesn’t feel the need to gossip.

Gossip often comes from a place of insecurity. It’s like we’re trying to shift the spotlight away from our own struggles or shortcomings by highlighting someone else’s. For example, imagine a fellow parishioner who always seems to take centre stage in ministry. Instead of celebrating their enthusiasm, we might find ourselves saying, “Well, they’re always involved, but they can be so bossy,” or “Sure, they’re dedicated, but they’re doing it for the attention.” If we’re honest, this kind of talk isn’t about them—it’s about something we’re struggling with: maybe feeling overlooked, inadequate, or unappreciated.

The Bible reminds us of the power of our words in Ephesians 4:29:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

When you catch yourself gossiping, pause and ask: “What’s really going on here? Why do I feel the need to tear this person down?” It’s a sign that something inside is off. Maybe it’s jealousy, insecurity, or even loneliness. Whatever it is, take it as an opportunity to work on yourself.

The truth is, you can’t change that other person. You can’t make them less involved or less visible. But you can change your response. You can choose to celebrate them instead of criticising. You can choose to reflect on what you’re feeling and use it as a moment for personal growth.

So let’s make 2025 different. Let’s choose confidence over insecurity, kindness over criticism, and growth over gossip. Let this be the year we build others up—and in the process, discover a stronger, more joyful version of ourselves.